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Penis Length Survey....
Men are notorious liars about their penis length, so I have devised the following foolproof test.
1. Disrobe and stand by your keyboard. Rest your left testicle in the rounded hollow on top of the "1" key. Rest your right testicle in the key immediately below that (the Q key on a standard keyboard, probably something different on the Dvorak keyboard. You lumberjacks may have to use the A or even the Z key).
2. Grasp your member in your right hand and slap it firmly across the number key row on your keyboard. (For instance, my boyfriends result is ``1234567890-+'' the backspace key removes the `.)
3. Place a copy of the June, 1981 Playboy open to the centerfold at a distance of 2.5 feet. Rest your thing on the keyboard and stare intently at the girl pictured for five minutes or until your feet leave the ground. Repeat the above test.
Cautions:
1. Do not attempt this test after swimming. You will skew the results.
2. Black men may wish to use a special extended keyboard, or place two keyboards end to end.
3. If you try this test on a public keyboard, you may want to swab it down with alcohol first.
4. On some keyboards, severe sparking may result. Be sure to keep a fire extinguisher handy, and DON'T BE AFRAID TO USE IT.
Incidentally, this test can also be used to diagnose some genital disorders:
1
You suffer from Short Penis Syndrome
12367
You have a strange gap in your penis
12efgbn
Your penis has a right hand bend, sometimes called Jerker's Lean.
12wgui,l=]\
Seek immediate medical care!
Oh yea, you MUST video tape this and send it to my e-mail!Then I will announce the winner!....LOL....
stolen from another group...lol...
Smile, it's the second-best thing you can do with your lips! |
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Love hey when you going out again? Does he only let you out once a month??? Or is it only safe for the world as we know it once a month.
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'jandt',...LMAO..........I went out with the 'girls' (night out) last Saturday, I think I have recovered since!!...lol...I told him that I'm not drinking for a full month after THAT night!! (what a lie, I had a few last night...lol...) I told him about the Balcony tonight, I'll find out soon when he gets home! BE GOOD!!
A woman's appetite is 2 x's that of a man's; her sexual desire, 4 x's; her intelligence, 8 x's.
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Oh yea!!, forgot to tell you.....(not me!) I almost got kicked out of the bar for flashing my titties!! WHO would of imagined that??? They were just jealous!..(son's of bitches!)...lol... Be Good! (or try like me!) Kathy XOXOX
A woman's appetite is 2 x's that of a man's; her sexual desire, 4 x's; her intelligence, 8 x's.
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I made it to the 5
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This was another great posting where do you get these...
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'tiotoe', sorry to hear that! $-o
'lobudjt71', Thanks for being so honest....lol....
'morefun', 'stolen from another group'....lol....
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everyone knows by now that Dirty only has 4!!! It's not like he is afraid to annouce that one in a public setting, maybe that is why his luck is so poor?
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This is way too funny, I will have to pass this one on to my friends.
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What.....Only 3 men responded? Where's everybody else?...lol...
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Im hurt Just,
All you women see us as is sexual objects to be used and then thrown away. Concerned about penis length---dam
Im up for being used----lol
Will be in Boise 20th
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Just....definitely an interesting test..wonder how many will actually attempt.
Mr. D would think I was nuts if I asked him to put his member on the keyboard...."there are better things to stroke than keys."
Ms. D
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'Dicktater'..."All you women see us as is sexual objects to be used and then thrown away. Concerned about penis length---dam"
'sexual objects', Ummmmm, yes!, but if it's good, I won't throw it away!! I keep him 'undercover' (under MY covers) ..lol..
'Mrs. D', I agree, tell Mr. D, not to get the keyboard sticky, (like mine...lol...) but tell him that I want the videos sent to me!!
'asub2use', Most men aren't good with instructions, that's why it was a womens idea to have photos with the instructions. So the females wouldn't be bothered when the men tried assembling something. Example; assembling a 5' high craftsman toolbox.....
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I can't find the keyboard............Are we supposed to open the cover on the laptop first? Does it help to cough as you are measuring? Are you talking soft or hard? At my advanced age, hard is a luxury and I may have to wait for the right moment. LOL
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<<<<<< OH YEA,... I forgot about the 'Penis Length'. I feel a post cumming on for this topic!! PENIS LENGTH (for Ladies only)
Check this today, THEN check it in one week and you will see all the ladies thoughts from this group on this fine subject!!
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quote eyelbthyr: I can't find the keyboard............Are we supposed to open the cover on the laptop first? Does it help to cough as you are measuring? Are you talking soft or hard? At my advanced age, hard is a luxury and I may have to wait for the right moment. LOL
LOL just make sure I am not home when you do this test....lol It is about time you woke up from the dead and did a posting......
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'tiotoe', ...LMAO...Good One!!
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'tiotoe', would that be before kids or after kids??
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'tiotoe', AFTER, that way you will know if 'it' still works!!
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This is the results 9 days later!!
PENIS LENGTH (for Ladies only)
Ladies, please be honest, does the length really matter to you? Please give some feed back to your thoughts! Have fun ...lol... Response Votes
Yes, most definitely! 9
No, I don't give a shit! 4
Total Votes 13
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This is funny, thanks for sharing.
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