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HOW TO MAKE THESE GROUPS WORK FOR YOU!
HOW TO MAKE THESE GROUPS WORK FOR YOU! Especially for standard members, it's important to use every free tool that A F F gives you to connect with others. That's why we're here, right? We want to MEET someone. For the guys, it's even more important to be active, because you outnumber the women seeking men by about 16 to 1. You have to do something to make ourselves stand out from the crowd, because the women can literally pick and choose. And before you say what a great profile you have, remember this: many women are also standard members, and they aren't allowed to look at that many profiles trying to find a great guy like you. Besides, THEY DON'T HAVE TO--they are literally flooded with emails from the men! First, here are three ways that groups WON'T work for you: 1. Lurking--Just joining a group and not being active in it is a sure-fire way to stay invisible. That's like buying a hammer, and expecting it to drive the nails for you. 2. Posting Only "Pick-Up Ads"--You know, those little posts where someone says how big his cock is, or how eager he is, and "where are all the younger women for older men?", etc., etc. This is slightly better than just lurking, because at least you've started driving the nail. The only problem is, you still expect it to finish driving itself, and it's a safe bet that pretty soon you'll be yet another one of those whiners complaining about how "this site doesn't work". 3. Being Impatient, Shallow or Rude--Everything worth having takes patience and work to acquire. If you're going to throw a little temper tantrum because you haven't found what you're looking for--even though you haven't invested any REAL effort--you don't belong on A F F, let alone in a group! This may be a sex site, but people still want to know that you're honest, non-violent and in possession of a mind bigger than your genitals. PARTICIPATE, PARTICIPATE, PARTICIPATE! This is how you get the most out of any group. Did you know that many standard members actually hook up with each other simply because of getting INVOLVED in groups? It's true: I've even seen long-term relationships develop that way! Here's the thing: when people post questions, thoughts, feelings, fantasies and jokes in groups, they do it because they are looking to interact with you. It's a way for them to get to know something about the personality behind the keyboard, and that often leads to great friendships or more. It also lets them know that you're interested in them as people, not just sex objects. It's the same reason why I, as the Moderator, post discussion threads. I'm not doing it because I just like to hear myself talk; I'm doing it to try to provide more ways for members to interact with each other, and also to encourage them to start discussion threads of their own. Get involved in the discussions. Post some threads of your own. Show people there's a mind, a heart and a sense of humor behind that picture. Gradually, people will get to know you and like you--and THAT, my friend, is how you will end up meeting someone. OH--and, fellas? The next time a young lady posts a thread about how she's looking to meet someone, don't just join the stampede of men rushing to say nothing more than "Hi, I'm here, please hit me up". First of all, she probably doesn't even know where you are, let alone what kind of person you are mentally and physically. Secondly, she's already got tons of one-liners coming at her from all directions. You'll stand head and shoulders above the rest, if you find an interesting way to respond to her. Tell her you looked at her profile and what you liked about it; ask her an interesting question, or show a gentle sense of humor. Give her a reason to want to know more about you than just a picture of your cock. If you're consistent about it, someday you'll be telling the group about this wonderful person you met here. And we'll all be glad with you!
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NEW YEWS Resolution number 1. Not to put alot of hope in meeting anyone from Adultfriendfinders. We are going to just go at the "spur of the moment."
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