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Beginning Again
 
Songs and Musings.
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Just following your lead.
Posted:Nov 20, 2018 1:07 pm
Last Updated:Nov 22, 2018 4:20 am
6191 Views

I was a really good . Until I hit around 7th grade. Then I started hanging with the wrong people. Hell, I was the wrong people. Doing things I probably shouldn't have. Ok..yeah, I shouldn't have.

By high school, I was a wild . And having an active imagination, even back then, I could cook up some crazy ideas on how to have fun. And lord knows, I could talk everyone into trying it. I was in without a doubt...Peer Pressure. At it's finest.

Skipping out of school..it'll be easy. I'll write you all notes from your parents. New drug..lets give it a whirl. What could go wrong? Not a single one of my friends parents liked me. I was always polite and respectful around parents. But things just always seemed to happen when I was around. LOL

Funny thing is..well not always so funny for my friends, is I rarely got caught. I'd come up with the idea for some crazy stunt. Get everyone to follow along. Then they'd all get busted somehow. Not me.

We'd blow stuff up, burn stuff down. We didn't experiment with drugs, we were into full scale research. Major destruction and chaos was just a normal part of life around me as a . I was a wild with no sense of mortality or fear of the outcome. And I drug a lot of people along for the ride. I was peer pressure.

Fast forward to adulthood, and I'd like to think I've calmed way down. And I'm no longer the one leading people into trouble. Point in fact, I'm usually the one talking people out of stupid shit. But apparently, some of my friends are still vulnerable to peer pressure.

My next door neighbor was out in the front last night, so my oldest and I went over to talk with him. His wife caught him , again, out with his friend messing around with other women. I asked him, why the hell are you listening to this guy man? His response is..I don't know. Just seemed like it would be fun.

I didn't say it out loud, but I'm thinking, dude you're 40 something and you're still falling for peer pressure?

One of our workers didn't show up for work today. Found out he's in jail. Was out with some friends. One of the friends was in a ongoing fight with some other guy. The details are a little sparse at the moment. So my worker decides to follow along while they all go and try to gang up on the dude. Turns out the dude has friends. Major fight breaks out. Two people in the hospital, and three in jail. This guy is 37 years old, has a wife and . But he's still giving in to peer pressure?

Unbelievable. Yeah..when I was young, I was an idiot in more ways than one. I rarely gave in to peer pressure back then, probably cause I was the one leading people into the abyss. But I grew out of it, and stopped doing stupid stuff dreamed up by some friend, just cause he said it'd be fun.

I know some are more prone to follow, but would you follow along with something you knew was just dumb? Do you find yourself in situations because of friends? I'm sure I'll make some more mistakes, before life is over. But I'd like to think they'll be little ones. Cause I didn't follow along blindly, and thought the crazy ideas through.
31 Comments
Thems fighting words!!
Posted:Nov 19, 2018 12:34 pm
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2018 4:41 am
6254 Views

I love professional football. I guess I should clarify that statement for my friends outside of the US. NFL football. From my earliest days I remember sitting around watching football with my Dad. We watched some college games, but the main event was always ....wait for it. The Dallas Cowboys. Somewhere, I just heard RedRock groan.

Something that I found really funny this morning, looking through some news story's was a link to why people hate the Cowboys. The truth is, it depends on how you ask the question it appears. Somehow, when the question is who is your favorite team, more people said the boys, than any other team. Putting them as the most liked team in the NFL..But. When the question was asked, which team do you dislike the most, once again, My boys were on top. So, the most liked, and the most hated, team in the NFL? My team, The Dallas Cowboys. LOL I'll take it!

I would consider myself a "fan", but not a fanatic. I can't say I really "hate" another team. Sure, there's the divisional rivalry, and I wasn't cheering for Philadelphia to win the last Super Bowl. But I didn't lose my mind when they did.

I find it humorous, when people truly get bent out of shape over a team they don't like. Sorta like the Patriots. Man I hear some shit talk about the Patriots and Brady. I wonder how much of that is anger due to them kicking everyone's asses in the numerous Super Bowls they've won recently.

I find it really disturbing, when I hear people cheer that someone on a rival team got injured.Washington, another division rival, just lost their starting QB yesterday. Broken tibia and fibula. I feel for the dude and the team. Sure it might throw the odds in our favor come the Thanksgiving day game, but I get no joy in that fact. Wish him a speedy and full recovery.

Win or lose, it's a game I watch. A competition. There's gonna be a winner and a loser in almost every game. Ties are rare. Do I yell and holler at the TV during the game? Hell yeah. My daughters puppy wants nothing to do with me during the games. But it's just an excitement and enthusiasm thing.

Do I sit back and do my best "armchair" QB routine during and after the game. Of course..it's become a national past time. We all like to think we'd make better decisions and calls, than the owners, GM's and coaches. Admittedly, at times, I have no clue what the hell they're thinking. But I'm also smart enough to realize that someone who's never built a house, probably won't know as much about the process as I do. I'd be willing to bet it's the same with Football.

So are you a fan or a fanatic. I mean I'll shit talk your team with the best of them. But for me it's friendly banter. I'm not losing any sleep if your team beats mine. LOL
28 Comments
Just a little thought.
Posted:Nov 18, 2018 12:31 pm
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2018 5:42 pm
6087 Views

It's the smell of the air on a early morning at the beach. The look on the face of your , that lets you know they feel happy and safe. The line of a woman's neck as it falls into her shoulders.

All little things. Little things, that often go unnoticed and unappreciated. Little tidbits that get lost in the quagmire of life, with all of the giant problems and hassles that we're forced to deal with.

There's a philosophy. Don't sweat the small stuff. It's a very well thought ideal, with lots of merit. It can help significantly in finding ways to deal with stress. I believe in it. In thinking about this the other day, though, it took my mind in a different direction. One that I woke up thinking about this morning.

Don't miss the small stuff. The little things, if you will.

I have failed in relationships more than once I think, by missing or flat out ignoring, the little things. Not taking that extra minute to listen to a problem. It was just a little problem. Probably would have only take a little time. It was a little thing. Until it wasn't. Missing subtle hints, or in my case, ignoring the little hints. Thinking it's not that big of a deal. Little things.

I like to think that slowly, I become a little wiser as I age. I've learned from past mistakes and I do try to notice the little things. In my own life, with family/friends, with relationships and sex. Pausing the movie for a sec, cause someone needed to ask another question. My youngest never seems to run out of questions.
A little thing that takes zero effort, but shows I care about her.

Building anticipation with a lover, by whispering thoughts of our next encounter as I leave for the day. Little things that mean more than showing up with a dozen roses. Just little things that can say more than a thousand words.

At times, I think all the big things in life that bring me happiness, all started as little things. I try not to let life bog me down so much, that I fail to notice the little things that pick me up. The little things that are so easy to miss, if I don't take the time to notice them.
27 Comments
There can be no beans...:)
Posted:Nov 17, 2018 12:15 pm
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2018 5:45 am
6407 Views

If you happened to miss my ranting rave last night, the last 24 hours have been a bitch. Things are settling down..Certainly not settled, but now it's just working through the problem. That said, I figured I'd cook some of my Texas Chili today. Cooking, the smell of the chili, and of course eating a good bowl of chili always helps my soul.

We had a slight discussion among a few of us on here, about what goes in chili. Or more concisely, what doesn't. I consider myself a "purist" with a lot of stuff and chili is one of those things.

There is no such thing as a melon margarita. There is no such thing as an apple martini.I do like mixing chocolate liqueur with vodka...but it's not a chocolate martini. It just doesn't exist , in a purist way of thinking. LOL.

And yes, Chili, or more specifically Texas Chili has no beans. Sure you can make a chili with beans. My turncoat , likes beans in her chili. I still love her, though there are many comments made about turning her back on Texas. She's just obviously not as much of a Purist, as I am. That's ok. I've always said, I'd like them to be their own person, and always be better than me.

The chili is still cooking. Takes most of the day. My oldest is coming over in a bit with his wife and . He tends to be a purist as well, so I'm sure we'll be ganging up on the bean lover. I'll update this as the chili moves along.

Do you find yourself being a purist on certain things? Foods and drinks? Other things in life?
37 Comments
It's a trust thing.
Posted:Nov 16, 2018 7:49 pm
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2018 8:25 pm
5915 Views

Betrayal of trust is something that, in a very unrealistic point of view, means something more to me than anyone in the world. It's a vain statement. A egotistical statement. A phrase I came up with to describe other people, a myopic narcissistic statement.

But at the moment, it describes me.

Right now, as typing this, trying to comprehend to what degree I feel betrayed. trying to deal with a hurt, a anger, that not sure I've ever felt. For the first time in over 30 , looking for a reason to hit someone. Anyone. No regards for whether I win or lose. just like when I was a young, irresponsible idiot, who had no care of the outcome. Didn't plan on living forever anyway. I'd almost relish the feeling of getting hit right now, just to feel a pain that was physical, not mental.

enough now, maybe wise enough, to just lock myself away. Physically and emotionally. No danger to myself, or anyone else. And with some more wine, the never ending tick of time, and the help of some friends, it will pass.

Trust and honesty, is to me, more important than breathing. It is the one thing that binds me to my world. When it's broken by a lover, it hurts. When it's broken by someone I love and care about, it's like nothing in the world exists. Nothing left is real.

I will get through this, I always do. In the grand scheme of things, it's probably no where near as bad as it seems at the moment.

But as you might have noticed...it is affecting me.

Betrayal of trust, is never a good thing...
13 Comments
Damn that Phone
Posted:Nov 15, 2018 1:00 pm
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2018 5:25 am
6205 Views

I use my phone for work, so it's always on. And thankfully, for the work part of it, constantly ringing. Lots of phone calls means lots of work.

However these days, I'd say my phone calls have doubled. And it's not because of work. I get so many crazy telemarketing calls these days it's not even funny. I mean, calls for mortgages, calls for healthcare, calls for auto warranty's, calls in Spanish.

Hell my phone is lit up with "Scam Likely" calls constantly. It's getting crazy.

I haven't had a home phone for over 12 years. I got rid of it, because the people that ever called the were telemarketers. Everyone else called my cell phone. Now...everyone calls my cell. Even the telemarketers. There's gotta be something I can do about this, but for the life of me, I can't find it.

It's not like I'm giving out my to people. I never trust that, "we don't sell your ". I either don't give it, or I give them a fake .

I could see if it was like my freshman year in college. My roommate and I thought it would be fun to copy an AC/DC song. So we used window paint and wrote..."Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap", with our phone on our dorm window. We got some crazy calls, and some even crazier drop in's. Might even have gotten lucky more than once off it. Well worth our being "published". LOL

But I digress from my bitching.

Is everyone getting this many telemarketing calls on their cells? Is there some way to stop it than any of you know? I'd look it up on the internet, but it'd probably lead me to a site that offered a solution. If I just give them my phone .
28 Comments
See ya Roy.
Posted:Nov 15, 2018 11:01 am
Last Updated:Nov 15, 2018 7:07 pm
5817 Views

I'm not really a fan of the new country. Though there's a couple that are ok. But in my youth, I listened to a lot of what my dad listened to. And watched his favorite show with him, many times. Hee Haw. Crazy, country variety show, with lots of music.

One of the best on there was Roy Clark. Today, Roy passed away. While I may not have been what many would refer to as a fan, no guitarist could argue his ability on the guitar. Or the banjo, or the fiddle or the mandolin. Face it. That dude was a stringed virtuoso.

I hate to see any great guitarist leave us, and Roy is no exception.

Rest in peace Roy.
11 Comments
HNW-Fall In Brown Leather
Posted:Nov 14, 2018 12:54 pm
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2018 9:56 am
6056 Views
I hate to admit this, after BJ's pic in the snow, but it was in the high 40s here. And I was freezing when I came back in. LOL.

35 Comments
Well, generally speaking......
Posted:Nov 13, 2018 1:03 pm
Last Updated:Nov 14, 2018 5:19 am
6116 Views

Well, I think we can all rest a little easier tonight. One of the age old questions of the universe has just been answered, by a think tank at Cambridge University. Wait for it.....Women and Men are different in the way they think.

Holy Hell! I knew something was up!

The lines that got me were , first.."Scientists claim to have discovered what sets men and women apart". Really, after all these years, they just discovered. Apparently the author of the article wasn't all that sure they were right, cause he did have to throw in a "claim to have discovered". Maybe it's really not answered after all.

And second, " men will be more interested by systems, while women will have higher degrees of emotional intelligence – the so-called empathizing-systemizing theory of sex differences." I'm not even sure I know what that means, and will have to research it, I'm sure.

But it makes me think immediately of something I notice from time to time. Too many times, we "generalize" people. In regards to this study, does that mean that all women run only on emotion? I don't think so.I've known quite a few women that I've considered "non-emotional". Are all men conversely, non emotional, and only run on logic? Again, I'd have to say absolutely not. I know lots of guys that don't seem to follow even the simplest of logic.

It's the problem with generalization, in my opinion. All women are not alike, and neither are all men. For that matter, all people aren't like all people. We all think, process and act just a little different. Ok..sometimes a lot differently. It's sorta what makes it interesting, doesn't it? Trying to do a study between the differences between the genders, as been overdone ever since the "Men are from Mars", days. LOL Just my opinion, of course. But it all just seems to be generalization.

I see it during everyday conversations. I see it on here. Would it be generalization, on my part, if I said, "It's generally everywhere, and usually not all that accurate".

On here, I could say, not all men are horn dogs, and unable to communicate beyond a "me horny" vernacular. There may be a lot of them that fit that statement, but there's many that don't. I see some very articulate and well written guys on here.

It happens with the dick pics. Not all men send them out like they're waving a flag at a parade. Not all women like, or dislike taking a peek at the said flag. This one gets beaten to death like a red headed step mule.

But in the end, aren't they just really generalizations and if I might add, not inclusive of the entire gender?

I like to think I keep a pretty open mind, and try not to color anyone into a certain box. I think, that if I were to do a study, it would be on the fallacy of generalizations. Especially where humans are concerned. My study would prove that sure, men are different than women. I'd even throw in the wonderful literary gem, from Kindergarten Cop. "Boys Have A Penis, Girls Have a Vagina". I know, I know. Brilliant right? I wonder how much funding I could get for a study on this mental epiphany.

I'd say that all people are different, and it goes way beyond gender. But that's a wonderful thing. At the very least, it keeps life interesting. But that might just be a generalization on my part.

Do you find yourself generalizing? Do you think you fit the male/female templates? I don't really think I do, but maybe that's just me. Like I said on my profile, the thought of fitting in actually makes me cringe.
32 Comments
Are you blushing?
Posted:Nov 12, 2018 12:52 pm
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2018 5:04 am
6045 Views

Out at work today, my texted me, as she is prone to do. She had started her period and realized she didn't have enough tampons and liners. So of course, I stopped by the grocery store to pick some up for her.

At the register checking out, a young lady cashier makes a comment about how great it is that I'm not embarrassed to buy feminine products for my wife. I told her, they were for my and said I never understood why it embarrasses some guys. A lady, in line behind me, says her husband refuses to buy feminine products. I just shook my head and said I thought it was a silly thing to be embarrassed about.

I guess most people have things that embarrass them. Though I've never understood this one. It's just a natural thing, that really isn't a secret. Once a month or so, women bleed. And they use feminine products. If you're married, attached or have teenage daughters, trust me, everyone knows they have periods.

It takes a lot to embarrass me. It must, because for the life of me I can't think of anything that makes me blush.

I made the mistake, of diving off a cliff at a nearby lake, in gym shorts. Those babies swooshed right off me in a instant. And being sorta murky, I couldn't find them. So, I swam up to shore and hollered up at my friends to throw me down a towel. A girl that was there, said something to the effect of how embarrassing that was. I asked, was it?

I've had people walk in on me while I was in the restroom. Hell, I've walked into other people using the restroom. Just no big deal to me. Say, sorry and close the door.

I thought this would be a good place to ask if people get embarrassed easily. I mean, certainly there are plenty of people who don't get embarrassed if someone see's them naked. But I wonder if there's others that do? Or if there are other things in life that embarrass you.

It's sorta funny, because I feel bad when I see someone embarrassed. Like if they trip, or spill a drink at a bar. I always try to help them laugh it off. But I really can't remember the last time I felt embarrassed. Maybe I'm just used to laughing at some of the things I do.
26 Comments
It's National Gumbo Day?
Posted:Nov 10, 2018 4:11 pm
Last Updated:Dec 1, 2018 9:32 am
7289 Views
Ok...well maybe that's not true. I just wanted to sound as well informed and smart as the wonderful Pocogato. But since I pale in comparison to our "little kitty", let me just say it was Gumbo day at my house.

I love Seafood Gumbo and have spent years tweaking and mastering the dish. It started with a recipe and lesson I got from a girlfriends mom, during a stint I spent in Louisiana. She was a wonderful, friendly, Cajun lady, who made us dinner more than once. As she explained it to me, making great Gumbo is a lot like life.

If you don't fill your life with good stuff, it can never be as good as it should be. Try to fill it with poor choices and half ass stuff, and it's gonna turn out the same. So we only use the highest quality ingredients when making Gumbo. All organic fresh vegetables...better if they were grown in your garden.



Patience is needed. And the attention to the little details. Too many people rush through life. But life is not a race. It's a journey. When making Roux, you have to take your time and cook it to the right color. Has to reach that chocolate brown, or it's just not gumbo roux. Patience is needed to cook it slow, and steady. Never, ever stop stirring. If the house catches on fire, keep stirring and let the fireman just fight it around you. It takes a good 45 minutes. (hint, she said her mom used to cook a roux that took 4 hours or better). Damn.



Don't stop caring halfway through. Many people she told me, just give up half way through. Sorta like life. "I'm tired of this, just dump the okra in." Show some tenacity and stick with it...the okra needs to be cooked in a pan with a little oil. Till the "strings" are no longer there. If you just dump it in...you might as well never started in the first place.



Then learn to relax, and let life run it's course. Simmer it for a bit. Let it "rest" for two or three hours, before you finish it out with the seafood. She said, two many times we're so much in a hurry to get somewhere, we forget to notice the stuff that is all around us. Stop, relax and enjoy your journey.



Finally, you hit the conclusion. If you followed everything, exactly, you are rewarded with success and happiness. And in this case, fantastic Shrimp and Crab Gumbo.



I remember the girlfriend was a lot of fun and seemed so easy going. And this is when we were in our early 20's. But I'll never forget her mom. She was an intense lady, could be quick to anger, but if she liked you, you couldn't have a better friend. She was fun to be around and made me some great dinners. Jambalaya, Red Beans and Rice, great Boiled Crawfish, and of course, Seafood Gumbo. One of my all time favorites.
40 Comments
A Creature of Habit
Posted:Nov 9, 2018 12:43 pm
Last Updated:Nov 14, 2018 5:29 am
6046 Views

I think I could be classified as a creature of habit on some stuff. I don't mean in a sexual way. I mean, I guess you could say I always just have sex with women. So that's habitual. But variation is still exciting. But if we split hairs I would think we're all habitual to some extent.

I was talking to someone today about taking my out to eat Sushi. She asked, didn't you just go eat sushi, a Friday or so ago? And of course we had. We both love Sushi, both love the Sushi Bar we go to. And I have a habit of taking my out every Friday. She then responds with you should try something different, stop being such a creature of habit.

Well, first off, at my age I can't really say there's any types of food in San Antonio that I haven't tried. And I do ask my , to decide what she wants to eat. Her choice? Sushi. Guess she's a creature of habit too.

There are some things, certainly stuck on. I have consumed the same coffee for over 20 . I like it, a medium roast with good body, but not very acidic. I have no plans to change it. Don't to try a bunch of others. I did that for , and it's how I found the one I like. Color me habitual.

I do tend to go to the exact same spot on the beach, every time, year after year. That ain't changing any time soon. Habitual.

I have "expanded" my horizons on wine lately. After realizing all I buy is Cabernet's and some Bordeaux's, I decided to shake that one up a bit. I've started letting the little wine steward pick some wines for me every week. She's at about a 90% success rate, and now, I guess I can say I've broken that habit.

I try to stay open minded on most stuff. Willing to try new things, new dishes, new ways of thinking. But with some stuff, a "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", kind of guy. I mean, it's been ok up to now, why change it. But apparently, some still think of me as a Creature of Habit.

Do you have anything that would make you a Creature of Habit? And don't say having sex, cause pretty sure most of us wouldn't mind that being a continual thing.
34 Comments
Of Human Bondage
Posted:Nov 8, 2018 12:38 pm
Last Updated:Nov 24, 2018 11:38 am
6567 Views

I pride myself as being a guy that does his thinking with the big head. And 99% of the time, it's really not that hard for me to do. There was one time though, that I'd thought I'd share, where I could have at least made a better decision. Wasn't a case of not thinking at all, just a poor decision in regards to "what could go wrong". This was the Spring after I got divorced, so around 14 years ago. Maybe I'll plead, "newly divorced, and sowing some pent up oats". Ok, never mind, we'll just stick with poor decisions.

I was at a weekend music festival in Austin. One of those where people would set up little "camps" during the off times. Sit around and party. I had my little camp set up and was sitting around playing guitar and singing with a few, "like minded" people. (threw that in there for BigLala)

A really nice looking, blonde lady comes up and sits down on the grass beside me. We talk a bit, drink a bit, she's listening as we jam. Then when we're taking a break she comes over and whispers in my ear, "I'd really like to have some private fun with you". We agree to go to her apartment. At this point, I had thought it out. Couldn't see any problems. So I packed up the guitar and lawn chairs, and followed her back to her apartment.

For the sake of brevity, lets just say we played around a bit. Little mental foreplay, some kissing and fondling, which led us to the bedroom. After about an hour of some really good sex, she asks the question. Have you ever been tied up? Knowing what I know now, I would have responded with something that showed a modicum of intelligence. But exercising every ounce of my poor decision making I say, "nope, but I'm open to try". /sigh

So she gets out some handcuffs, some rope, some scarves. She's obviously done this before, and I'm figuring I'm in good hands. LOL. She cuffs, ties and binds me to the bed spread eagle. I'm still in the moment thinking, ok, this could be fun. And it was for the next bit. She sucks on me, rides me. Hell, this is great!!!

Then the moment that is still etched in my mind. She gets up and says, I'll be right back, and leaves the room. I'm laying there, thinking that was fun, when I hear a door shut. I lay there for a few minutes, then call her name. Nothing. I call again, a bit louder. Nothing. It hits me like a ton of bricks, she just left. Oh shit!!

I can't say for sure how long I laid there, but it was at least two hours. I'm thinking of all the scenarios. Maybe she went to get a friend, we had discussed threesomes with her girlfriend. Wait, what if she comes back with a guy? What do I do if she doesn't come back today. I'm tied and handcuffed to a heavy frame , so I'm not breaking out of this one. It was not a fun couple of hours, let me tell you.

Finally, I hear the door again. She walks into the room. I'm checking, trust me, no one with her. She say's something to the effect of did I enjoy my alone time. Now here's where I finally start thinking with the big head again. I put on a smile and say something to the effect of , you had me a bit worried. Is that part of the game? She explains yes, I waffle around a bit. She talks some bondage stuff and gets around to liking to be top and bottom. So I convince her to let me go, and lets try it the other way.

She unties my legs, and gets the key for the handcuffs. I'm off the bed, like it was on fire.

Now free, I'm pissed. Somewhat at her, but mainly at myself for not thinking it through. There are all sorts of scenarios that had run through my mind. I didn't like any of them. So as I'm grabbing my clothes and getting dressed, she's trying to convince me to stay. I'm staying calm, but in no way dissuaded from my new plan of getting the hell out of there. She follows me to all the way to the front door and out onto the landing, asking what's wrong. LOL

I turned as I hit the stairs and said, parts where fun, but I've decided I really am not into bondage. Have a good one.

It was a good lesson, and was enough to get me back to thinking things through. Maybe, just maybe, I'll go the rest of my life without under thinking the situation.
34 Comments

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